1. Xmas Has Been X'ed

It's funny how some fables became historic
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric
But people will believe anything if it's written
Especially in stone or ancient scroll
December 25th has been blacklisted
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed
It was the last thing anyone ever expected
Xmas has been X'd

No colored lights, no shopping sprees
No more presents under dead trees
St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic
Protestants increasingly become agnostic
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams
Priests and Nuns are molesting each other
Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist
Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew
Cuz Easter's canceled too

No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash
They canceled lent and slowed down fast
Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last
No shopping sprees (don't worry son)
No more presents (we don't need Christ) under dead trees (we got eight nights)
St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don't grieve (they won't cancel)
We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve


2. NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION

Forget about old acquaintance
Instead we honor flagrance
This night is so clichéd

We mix day-old traditions
With random premonitions
A futile charade

Forget about justice
Forget about wars
Forget about future
The government ignores

Fuck your resolution
Fuck your annual
Fuck your optimism
It just sounds so banal
It just sounds so banal

We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution

Next year is gonna be bad
The next one even worse
That's not called pessimism
It's just the truth that hurts

Let's all sing together
Songs about change
Songs about people
Notes about rage

Can we motivate?
Can we incite?
Can we make a difference with lyrics oh so trite?
With lyrics oh so trite?

We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution

We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution

We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution
A New Year's Revolution

Resolution!


3. WORE OUT THE SOLES OF MY PARTY BOOTS

Life is fast but I don't wanna live past you, cause you are my only roots
I was the king of the drug booze thing now I've worn out the soles of my party boots
So call me shit-faced Master of Disgrace, I don't care cause my outer skin
Is thick like crust, and a liver that's rusted out, now I'm on a list

Everybody wants to give a shit outta me, I won't give it but I'll give ambivalence
I gotta memory box cause my memory blocks me, from remembering weeks
All the blacked out nights into white out mornings, into grey matter damagings
So call me Fat Fuck, geriatric punk rock, give it straight cause I deserve
a verbal beating from an audience bleating, and a melee with no concern

Everybody wants to give a shit outta me, I won't give it but I'll give irresponsiveness
Everybody wants to drag me up again, I wanna go, but the price keeps going up
Going down is simple and practical, laying low but keeping it cynical
I'm on the wagon and it's such a drag, without a key kick, shot, and a drag

Evidently no one likes a quitter or an old punk's bitterness
So I'm waiting for the tap, on my shoulder, cause we're all getting older not better
The laughs are no longer with us
So call me Fat Fuck geriatric punk,
Call me Fat Fuck geriatric punk
Call me Fat Fuck geriatric punk shit-faced master of disgrace