1. HIT MACHINE

Lets try and be positive here
For a minute shall we
Can you dig brothers and sisters
I'm talking about we're here to spread
Joy throughthout the world with our
Beautiful music now i know you know what i'm saying

Here we go
Wonderful life
Come on friend no time to lose
Cause we ain't going to sing blues
It ain't going to matter now
The lord has said let's get it's down
Think of us as Jesus and you are a disciples
We is gonna lead you
On a fantastic journey to happiness
Such as you have never dreamed of
You know what i'm saying' friend
Holds on to my hand man

Here we go!
Wonderful life!
Raise dat roof work that ass
Fill my tank with disco gas
We pump the dopest jam around
G-mouth here to get on down
On behalf of myself pastor mark
I ask you all to add a little something to the collection plate

Here we go!
Wonderful life!
Forgive me Mark for I have sinned
One more time you won't get in
I robbed another Taco Bell
Sorry joe it's straight to hell
Spread the word across the land
You will be my new house band
Seven days a week you'll play
And if you don't do what I say

Straight to hell
By your command!


2. ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN

Complimentary
Is an homage I won't pay
Mediocracy
Is the mantra of our time

Nihilism
Instability within
We won't be pacified
We brake to olive branch sick cow

Infallibility
Sardonic to the end
Delusionary expectancy
Of things you can't amend
Don't call me a patriarch
Don't honor my contempt
Intolerant intoxicant

1 potato
2 potato
3 potato
4

Dehumanize
Then
Immunize
Please visualize
The door

5 potato
6 potato
7 potato
More

Absordent
Deodorant
Stick that between your legs honey
Constant vigilance precludes

Your surprise
Roll out the barrel it's time to americanize
Rational thinking eludes you all the way
Preconceived notion the factionizing way

Constipation
Is a problem from within
So villainous we can't discuss
The quagmire we are in
Don't call me irrelevant
Don't supersize the lies
Mathematically schematically
Puzzlehead go to bed


3. CON ESPECIAL

I kinda had a crush on you
You even said I love you too
She said, I've got no place to go
You fucking' lied about your birth control

I don't want a baby
And my answer won't be maybe
This world don't need another baby
Shitting, pissing, screaming, crying

If you want it
You'll be buying I gave you everything I had
So you think I want to be a dad
That thing inside you makes me sick

In a perfect world you would get the brick
Cause I don't want a baby
Just give give someone else your baby
Farting, puking, breathing, living

If you want it, I'll be giving
I'll be choking off its airway
So it won't to see a fucking birthday
Let's abort it on a sunday

8 whole pounds of worthless shit
And you want it to suck your tit
Now you haven't got a thing
You went and pawned our wedding ring

Why do you think that I care
Enjoy your life on welfare
Farting, puking, breathing, living
If you want it, I'll be giving

Shitting, pissing, screaming, crying
If you want it
You'll be buying
8 whole pounds of worthless shit
And you want it to suck your tit


4. VIVA AMERICA

You may think you got it pretty bad
Well my friend you should be a fucking glad because
You take for granted everything you've got
Try to find a Disneyland in Africa asshole!

America, not China, not Canada
America, not Cuba, not Jamaica
Get a job you leaching welfare whore
In the stars, there's non need to be poor, because

True americans our pistol packing pals
Don't tread on me you fuckin' filthy foreigner
America, not asia (minor), not Nebraska, electricity
We're Americans, not Indians, not Russians

Put us down, we'll blow you off the map
In a flash of hot water from the tap.
Light bulbs ,movies stars, we can cure the clap
You stupid fuck


5. DIAMOND STUDDED BUMBLE BEE

Mt. Rushmore is my favorite monument
The Goldsteer is a gorgeous restaurant
Golden tan and a latin accent
Cowboy boots and cologne

What is this a gift for me?
A gorgeous piece of jewelry
A diamond studded bumble bee
It looks good on you or me

I love the way it looks on Mr. T
I was a pirate in a former life
Miners and piano players
What is this gift for me?

A gorgeous piece of jewelry
A diamond studded bumble bee
It looks good on you or me
No -- no-no-no-no-no

It goes well with a sequined dress
And accentuates my hairy chest
I love carrots not in stew
Holiday in Africa
No, i'm a jewelry lover


6. A DATE WITH DESTINY

Every time I look at your face
It makes me want to taste it
Makes me want to taste it
Every time I look at your face, it makes me want to

Rip my heart right out of me
Shove me back in line
I'll groom you so lovingly - I'm yours
Your worth your weight in gold

The gorgeous ring in your nose
We can take in a show
Or a rodeo o-o-o
Every time I look at your face

It makes me want to taste it
Makes me want to taste it
Every time I look at your face, it makes me want to
What we've got is very rare

You look so delicious
I'll make you your favorite meal - hey!
Your worth your weight in gold
The gorgeous ring in your nose

We can take in a show
Or rodeo o-o-o
Every time I look in your face
I see a thousand steaks

A thousand plates of steaks - yeh!
When the people want to buy
And the market's high
Just kiss your ass goodbye

You can kiss your ass goodbye
I can't explain our bond
Life without you will be so hard
Who's gonna plow my field
I loved you and you're a veal


7. THE DREADED SEA LICE HAVE COME ABOARD

Mi got a boat and named her Dicky Moe
She's a beauty a real treasure trove.
I've read the manual now I'm ready for the sea
Chart a course - erotic ports for Dicky Moe and me

Boating's unpredictable
And traveling gives you lice
Day 1 i was okay, no trouble in my log
If the fishing gets much worse
I'll have to eat my dog

Day 19 I'm standed in Peru
Boating's fun - the blazing sun - evaporated food
Boating's unpredictable
And traveling gives you lice

My spanish sucks, the people stink, i'm starting to fit in
We played some soccer and they let me win
Adios amicos from Dicky Moe and me
Now I've got the worst case of lice you've ever seen
I've got lice


8. A NICE PLACE TO VISIT...

I take a look around
Think of places I have been
There really aren't that many
I would like to see again
I've been to 30

8 of 50 states
Most of them I'd shut down
3 or 4 of them are great
Back on the east coast

DC's a little shit hole
You'll freeze to death in Jersey
But Florida's the best
I think I would rather have

Prostate cancer
Than visit Oklahoma
It's those sooners I detest
When I see the coast

I'm at home at last
Take the Lincoln monument
And cram it up your ass
jmfc a giant ball of yarn

Dont forget to see the thing
When your on your way to yuma
Koa is a ok
But they ain't got no shoney's

I love turquoise
And shells of abalone
Testicular tumors
Sound so much nicer

Than seeing Dollywood
In the hills of Tennsessee
Sentence me to life
In a Tijuana prison

I don't really care
Feed Doritos to the bears
Fireworks here and there
California is for me

Mississi (fart) i
Zillions of mosquitoes are
Gnawing on my thigh
I really love antiquing
I bought some decoy ducks

In some states your sister
Is the only one you fuck
The Nascar whores of North Carolina
With ovarian cysts
The size of Missouri

Do yourself a favor and
Stay in California
Goodbye.


9. FOOD STORAGE

I started drinking at a quarter to four
Half past eight I'm out the door when
I saw her walking right in I said
Keep on goin' man don't give in

Next thing you know I'm back
I gotta make my move, precise attack because
I gotta thrill frome the hurt and kill you know
Mommy said don't take that pill, well

Mommy said life ain't all thrills and
Mommy said don't play with fire
Guess what mommy, I like that fire!
I chat her up and drink some more

12:15, my mind's a blur but
Beauty and beast have made the connection
I got the fever and I need her injection
Come last call we gotta go

Back at her place I don't know then
I knock the candle over, start a fire
She lost it all I called it fate
I guess there won't be a second date - damn

I guess there won't be
Burnin up
I never caught her name
Burnin up
Disfigured and she's mamed
Burnin up
I hope that she forgets me
Burnin up
Don't want to say I'm sorry
Burnin up
Messed up our little party
What you gonna do?
Gonna do now?
Burnin up

I never caught her name
Burnin up
Disfigured and she's mamed
Burnin up
I hope that she forgets me


10. I HAVE A DREAM

Hey hey today's my lucky day

Puff was taken out
By Snoop & Dr. Dre
Hey hey a plane went down today
The entire cast of friends

Found floating in the bay
Fuck yea hoo ray
Cancer killed the guy
From Sugar Ray

Hey hey it's my lucky day

The Canadian goverment said that
We can play - eh!
Climb the ladder of success
And you'll have loads of friends

Make damn sure that no one
Hears you when speak your mind
Smile nicely laugh a little
As you slap that back

I'm so happy ain't it grand
Warren from the Vandals isn't very tan
Just joking we love ya Warren
Honk konk your ska

Shank your way right to
Lock jaw
Lucky day
No fuck no
What you gonna do now
No fuck no no
What you gonna do
No no no
What you gonna do now
No fuck no

Lucky me I found a magic lamp
Send those eskimos
To a European camp
Raining down from above

I'll releive myself on courtney love
Today must be my lucky day
Cause you got h.i.v. (not me)
While you decay and suffer

I'll take in a movie
I struck oil under my house
While planting magic beans
I only wish these things
Were more than just a dream.


11. BBB

Hatred is okay
Disobey disobey
I'm fucking pissed
Break somthing today

Always look pissed
Don't dress nice
Don't be helpful
Carry a knife

Never think positive
Get fucking wasted
Harm yourself
Quit fucking school

Harm yourself
Steal a car
Harm yourself
Ignore your family

Harm yourself
Sleep all day
Worship dead junkies in shitty bands
Kill your fuckin self.
Boots, bondage and basic reading skills.


12. HIGH BALL

Imagine my friend that the well has run dry
The bar keep resigns cause there won't be more rye
Trade lies with your mates and then you have a good cry
It's finally happened, no more good times

What would you do and what would you say
If some bloody bastard took the high balls away
My God the world would insist that we cannot
Be happy until we are pissed off our ass!

Day by day they take our freedom
Who the hell gives them the right
Hold your glass up high and we'll
Drink on and on and on and on

If I'm happy or I'm sad
Jack Daniel's makes me feel alright
Raise your glass up hight and we'll sing
On and on and on and on

All we want all we want all we want
Is hight balls for everyone
And then, this fucked up world would seem alright
Hold on jacky, save me your goobyes

Hold on jacky, need double rye
We got your back Jack baby no more feelin dry
So cheers to you my dear old friend
Come on Jacky gimmie the good times

Come on Jacky dont wanna walk the line
We got your back jack baby no more feelin dry
So cheers to you and all our/your friends tonight
Day by day they take our freedom

Who the hell gives them the right
Hold your glass up high and we'll
Drink on and on and on and on
If i'm happy or i'm sad

Jack Daniels makes me feel alright
Hold your glass up high and we'll sing
On and on and on and on
All we want all we want all we want is

High balls for everyone
And then,this fucked up world would seem alright


13. POWER UP

The son of god once showed his face
Upon my tortilla
Since that day faith's renewed
He won't let me faulter

He guides me down a golden path
He shields me from sin
Without the spirit life's meaningless
I'll go the distance with him

I've been to the point of no return
Suggestive posters on my wall
I'd participate in gluttony
Greed and wanton lust

I cheated on my S.A.T's
Once I double parked
If you asked then for a cigarette
There was a good chance I had one
There was a good chance that I had one
Oh yea
There's a chance that I had one
Oh yea there's a chance that I had one
Yea

I'd sloth around in my underwears
Just watching T.V.
My former friends they stay out late
They drink and carry on (that's wrong)

They go on dates with party girls
And stay in cheap motels
I stay home try to better myself
By burning science books

Once I tried to masturbate
And finger my own ass
When I marry I'll procreate
Hands off myself till then

Christmas easter they're okay
But the meaning has been lost
Remember friend it wasn't Santa Claus
Who was nailed to the cross

Remember friend it wasn't Santa
Oh yea
It wasn't Santa
Oh yea
It wasn't Santa
Oh yea

I serve the lord at the telethon
Ready to man the phones
For him I'll always vote pro-life
Those clinics should be bombed

Power up's here to lead the flock
Lead to salvation (army)
Jesus Christ Superstar
Is my favorite song.