1. ZORRO'S ASCENT

Zorro lies dying
In the Spanish sun
All the women crying,
Especially the pretty ones
He drew his sword...
They came with guns

Stealing is stealing,
I've done lots of that
Now reach into my pocket, padre
Hide this gold pouch in your hat
And let the skinny peons
Feed upon the fat
It was liberated
From some aristocrat, eh?

So pray for him father,
You need not bother
'Cause I am the fox
And I go where I want
If heaven ignores me
The devil adores me
Yes, I am the fox
And I go where I want

Padre, don't it seem
Hundred years ago
Before I donned the mask
I'm Don Diego
Now there's only minutes left
For the cunning El Zorro
Go fetch my sword... my horse
I'll ride out death Diablo

So pray for him father,
You need not bother
'Cause I am the fox
And I go where I want
If heaven ignores me
The devil adores me
I am the fox
And I go where I want

Death you're running closer
And I can't keep this pace
Sir, I'm disadvantaged
And should I lose this race
Hand to me your deadliest wine
I'll give you back a taste
Before you burn your mark on me
I'll carve mine in your face

So pray for him, father
You need not bother
'Cause I am the fox
And I go where I want
When Satan annoys me
Then heaven employs me
'Cause I am the fox
And I go where I want to go
El Zorro


2. MAKE THAT MONEY

(Scrooge's Song)

When I was a boy
I never played with toys
Never had a friend
Never laughed or cried much
And when I was a boy
My father was a man
With a strict and sturdy hand
No soft touch

Make that money, make that money
Make that money run like honey
On your tongue
Gotta make that money
Make that money, listen sonny
Learn to sting before your stung

Now that I'm a man
Every penny has been planned
I'm financially grand
And perfectly greedy
Sentimental fools
I make all your rules
I've got your cash, got your jewels
They're all mortgaged to me

Make that money, make that money
Make that money run like honey
On your tongue
Gotta make that money
Make that money, listen sonny
Learn to sting before your stung

And I know
'Cause he told me so
Told me so
I believe him
I still believe...
Give me that money

Controlling all your cash
I could make you live in trash
I eat pheasant, you eat hash
No philanthropy
But when it's time for me to croak
Bury me with all my dough
And where there should've been an oak
My private money tree will grow

Make that money
Said make that money
Make that money run like honey
On your tongue

Told me so
Told me so
He told me so


3. I AM THE FUTUR

(From The Motion Picture "Class of '84")

When does a dream become a nightmare?
When do we do what must be done?
When do we stand and face the future?
When there is nowhere left to run?

And you've got to learn
Just how to survive
You've got to learn
How to keep your dream alive

Take a look at my face
I am the future
How do you like what you see?
Take a look at my face
I belong to the future
And you belong to me

When does a dream become a nightmare?
When do we learn to live with fear?
When we cry out for some salvation?
Why is it no one seems to hear?

You've got to learn
It's up to you
If you can learn
That the dream just might come true

Take a look at my face
I am the future
How do you like what you see?
Take a look at my face
I belong to the future
The world belongs to me, yeah

Take a look at my face
I am the future
Now, how do you like what you see?
Take a look at my face
I belong to the future
And the world it belongs to me
It belongs to me

It's all mine
Just take a look at my face
I'm the future, no disgrace
Take a look at my face
This world belongs to... to me


4. NO BALONEY HOMOSAPIENS

Hey you out there in outer space
You're lookin' at some style and grace
The blood and gutty human race
Well, come on down here to meet us

And all you sightings up there in the sky
Feel free to drop in anytime
Anytime you're just kinda passin' by
And you get the urge that you want to see us

Oh, we're fun and games
Just guys and just dames
But don't call us names
And most of all, please don't eat us

'Cause we're no baloney, homosapiens
We ain't phoney
Oh we're no baloney homsapiens

Listen, just 'cause you got
More ears than eyes
That just gives you more places to cry
And acutely hear all the moans and sighs
Of the relatives of the people
You disintegrated

And don't you say we're easy prey
'Cause buddy, that's the day
Your underestimation will defeat you
But don't worry, we're civilized
And we won't eat you

'Cause we're no baloney, we're homosapiens
We ain't no phoney
Yeah, we're no baloney homosapiens

We're black and white
You're green and blue
Well, we're all right, so are you... I think
My blood's thick red
You bleed black glue
So, let's not bleed at all
Is that all right with you

Yes, we're no baloney, we're homosapiens
We're not phoney
Yeah, we're no baloney homosapiens

Yes, we're no baloney, homosapiens
Take it back with ya
We're no baloney homosapiens
No baloney, homosapiens


5. ADAPTABLE

(Anything For You)

If you were Lucy
I'd be your Ricky
When you were juicy
I'd get real sticky
And when you're magic
It makes me tricky, too

Yeah, I'm a Sony
You're Panasonic
I'm heavy metal
You're philharmonic
If you get earaches
I'd turn my volume down
A notch or two for you

'Cause I will do anything for you
Anything you want me to
I'm so adaptable to you
Was untrappable 'til you

I will do for you
Anything for you
Adaptable to you
Adaptable to you

If you do that fold out
I'll scream and holler
But when you hold out
I'll spend three dollars
One way or other, babe
I'll spend the night with you
That's true

Now, you ain't no Hepburn
And I ain't no Fonda
But if you were drownin'
In Golden Ponda
Mouth to mouth
I'd resuscitate with you

Because I'm so adaptable to you
Anything you want me to
I'm so adaptable to you
Was untrappable 'til you

I will do for you
Anything for you
Adaptable to you
Adaptable to you

Adaptable to you
So plug me into you

Say you're Vampira
And needed plasma
And I was dying
From chronic asthma
I'd leave my death bed
To draw some blood for you
Just for you

Because I will do anything for you
Anything you want me to
And I will do anything for you
Anything you want me to
Yes, I'm so adaptable to you
Leave a craps table for you
On a winning streak

I will do for you
Anything for you
Adaptable to you
Adaptable to you


6. I LIKE GIRLS

I bought a Porsche
And I'm leavin' Grand Rapids
Quit my job, quit my school,
Quit this place
My mother cried
My father was fried
Hey, I've got no time, man
I wanna say goodbye to my babes
I like girls

I dumped Sheila on Thursday
I'll drop Melissa today
I'll kiss some tears off of Donna
Ask if she'll call on Shauna
Amanda, and Sandra and Kay
I like girls, I love 'em to death

Hey Valentino! You goin' somewhere?
You wouldn't sneak out on me, would you?
What's that a blond hair?
He must visualize himself an Errol Flynn

I see myself a suave sophisticated lover
I'll meet a rich hot old Hollywood dame
You see, my ultimate goal
Will be my life bein' told
In a penthouse letter that I can frame
And keep at home.
I like girls, I love 'em, oh yeah

New luggage? Did you say you were going
Somewhere? Oh, just out for some fresh air.
Does she have a nice pair?

He was swallowed alive by the freeway
Turned into an ant on parade
He bravely drove off that beast
Aimed his car back to the east
Why be a snack at home?
I'm a feast, for the girls
I like girls, I really like 'em

Well, well, well. Look who's back. Run out of gas?
Patty, I was just gonna call you. Look...
I left Donna and Shauna
And Katy and Carrie
Melissa and Dena
I just didn't have any use for 'em
I just want you
Really, no really, honest!

Oink off!


7. REMARKABLY INSINCERE

Yeah, I'm such a liar
One time I told you
You were the highlight
Of all of my sexual life

While I'm confessing
When you're undressing
I was picking the lock
On your safe with my knife
Einstein

If you're so naive
That you believe
Everything I said to you
Well, I got your sex
And wrote you rubber checks
Well, what did you think
I was gonna do

My reputation for exaggeration
It never got to you
That's why I left Duluth
Sometimes I stretch the truth

My dearest darling
You know that luggage
It belonged to the blond
With the really nice pair
And incidentally
I sorely missed you
The pain was so hard to bear

If I would rate you
Not that I hate you
But you would end up
Eighth, maybe ninth in your class

Your build is hot now
If you could use your
Brain like you use your ass

Oh, you're so naive
How could you believe
Everything I said to you

My reputation for exaggeration
It never got to you
Sometimes I'm so uncouth
Sometimes I stretch the truth

Hey, I'm such a liar
One time I told you
You were the highlight
Of all of my sexual life

I'm remarkably insincere
Incredibly insincere
Totally insincere
Oh don't take it so hard, my dear
I'm consistently insincere


8. TAG YOU'RE IT

Let's assume
That he's the groom
And he's been waiting
To consummate all night
And you're the bride
You're locked tight
Inside the bathroom
And you're overcome with freight

Now here's the chiller
He's the killer
You've discovered
You're trapped, alone, you're scared
We cut to you, we move in close
You're catatonic
You get a close up there

And in this shot
Here's what we got
He breaks the door down
And tears your nightgown lace
You see a can, it's aerosol
You grab the hair spray
And light it in his face

There's a very hungry man in the cellar
Oh, waiting
Or is he in the attic closet
Waiting

Debbie? I like this game. Debbie?
Debbie? Debbie? Debbie?

He blindly grabs you
Tries to stab you
But you're quicker
You over act right here
You see a cat, a ball of yarn
A knitting needle
His vision's still not clear
He's stumbling 'round
Don't make a sound
And then he grabs you
"Hide and seek, my dear?"
He shifts his glance
You see your chance
You grab the needle and you
You plunge it in his ear

There's a very hungry man in the cellar
Oh, waiting
Or is he in the attic closet
Waiting

There's a very hungry man in the cellar
Oh, waiting
Or is he in the attic closet
Waiting

And just like the scene
In "Halloween"
You think it's all over
And you're gazing into space
But you got to make sure
You hear something, you start to turn
And you're standing there frozen
Staring him face to face
And he looks at you and says
"Tag, you're it, Sweetie
Bye, Debbie. Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
Goodbye, Debbie..."


9. IBETTER BE GOOD

If I ain't cool
My daddy gonna send me
To Military School
If I ain't nice
My girlie gonna freeze me
With cold shoulder ice
If I'm real late
My teacher gonna use me
For alligator bait
So, I better be good
I better be good

If I jump on the gas
The cops are gonna jump
All over my back
If I smoke too much
Doctor says he's gonna
Put my lungs in a crutch
If I'm caught without my pants
Consuelo's dad is gonna shoot
Until he sees me dance

So, I better be good
I had better be good
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - Uh, uh, uh, uh
Nice, nice, nice

Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
You better be nice tonight

If I spray it on the seat
Lady gonna tie a big knot
In the meat
If I spewey too fast
Lover's gonna stick
My Wrangler in a cast
If zipper grabs skin
I'll know I had it out
When I shoulda kept it in
Ow.

I better be good
I better be good
I better be good
Ooh.

You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
You better be nice
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - you better be
Nice, nice, nice - Uh, uh, uh, uh
Nice, nice, nice

I'd better be nice tonight - yeah
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice
Nice, nice, nice


10. I'M ALIVE

(That Was The Day My Dead Pet Returned To Save My Life)

I was just kicking down the street
And the sun was in my eyes
So I couldn't see the truck
That was sixty times my size
And just seconds off from splattering me
Let me tell you
I was so scared I couldn't move
Like my boots were full of glue
Then I felt a little tug
And I thought of good Old Blue
And he pulled me from that catastrophe

That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
I'm alive
He's alive
I'm alive

I was spitting in the canyon
Near the cliff up on the mountain
When an unexpected sneeze
Hung me in the breeze
At forty five degrees in the sky
Suddenly I felt something
Had me by the belt
And in between my praying
Swore I heard a stallion neighing
Was the ghost of my horse
And I cried, yes I cried

That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
I'm alive
He's alive
Hey, I'm alive

Things were getting gory
Got caught on territory
Belonging to the Crutches
In an alley in their clutches
Looking kind of dismal that night
Well the leader's name was Fats
Swinging broken baseball bats
Things got really frantic
Starting jumping in their panic
Hallucinating billions of rats
Lots of rats

That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
I'm alive, I'm alive, real alive

That was the day my dead pet returned
That was the day my dead pet returned
That was the day my dead pet returned
That was the day my dead pet returned
To save my life

I'm alive, I'm alive
He's alive, he's alive, he's alive
I'm alive, yeah
He's alive, he's alive
I'm alive, real alive
Alive, alive, alive
Alive, alive, alive, alive
Alive, alive, alive, alive
I'm alive