1. A CHRISTMAS DUEL

I bought no gifts this year
And I slept with your sister
I know I should have thought twice
Before I kissed her
But with the year we had last
And the dress that she wore
I just went along for the ride
And I came back for more.

And I'm sorry baby.

That's all ok honey cause see.

I bought no tree this year
And I slept with your brother
I wrecked your Daddy's car
And went down on your Mother.

I set your record collection on fire
And said I never knew
Felt kind of bad about that
And I know you did too.

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree
Cause the snow keeps on fallin' even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad.

And spend this Christmas together.

I married you last year
Bet you thought I was sober, right?
But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake
This could all have been over.

Ah honey please don't
Excuse your behaviour
Cause I hired a hitman and changed your will
It's now all in my favour.

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree
Cause the snow keeps on fallin' even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad.

And spend this Christmas together (x2)

Holding on without any reason
Cause something's strong this holiday season.

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
And who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree
Cause the snow keeps on fallin' even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad.

And spend this Christmas together (x2)