1.POLICE TRUCK

Tonight's the night that we got the truck / We're goin' downtown, gonna beat up drunks / Your turn to drive, I'll bring the beer / It's the late late shift no one to fear / And ride, ride how we ride / We ride, lowride / It's round-up time where the good whores meet / Gonna drag one screaming off the street / And ride, ride, how we ride / Got a black uniform and a silver badge / Playin' cops for real, playin' cops for pay / Let's ride, lowride / Pull down your dress here's a kick in the ass / Let's beat you blue ‘til you shit in your pants / Don't move, child, got a big black stick / There‘s six of us, babe, so suck on my dick / And ride, ride, how we ride / Let's ride, ride, how we ride / Let's ride, lowride / The Left newspapers might whine a bit / But the guys at the station, they don't give a shit / Dispatch calls, “Are you doin' something wicked?” / “No, siree, jack, we're just given' tickets” / As we ride, ride, how we ride / Let's ride, lowrid


2.TOO DRUNK TO FUCK

Went to a party / I danced all night / I drank 16 beers / And I started up a fight / But now I'm jaded / You're out of luck / I'm rollin' down the stairs / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk / To fuck / I like your stories / I love your gun / Shooting out cop tires / Sounds like loads and loads of fun / But in my room / Wish you were dead / You bawl like the baby / In Eraserhead / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / It's all I need right now / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / Too drunk to fuck / I'm sick, soft, gooey and cold / Too drunk to fuck / I'm ‘bout to drop / My head's a mess / The only salvation is / I'll never see you again / You give me head / It makes it worse / Take out your fuckin' retainer / Put it in your purse / I'm too drunk to fuck / You're too drunk to fuck / Too drunk, to fuck / It's all I need right now, oh baby / I'm melting like an ice cream bar, / Oh baby / And now I got diarrhea / Too drunk to fuck / Yeah, yeah / Yeah, yeah / Yeah, yeah / Ooooohhh…


3.CALIFORNIA ÜBER ALLES

I am Governor Jerry Brown / My aura smiles / And never frowns / Soon I will be President… / Carter power will soon go away / I will be Führer one day / I will command all of you / Your kids will meditate in school / Chorus: California Über Alles / Über Alles California / Zen fascists will control you / 100% natural / You will jog for the master race / And always wear the happy face / Close your eyes, can't happen here / Big Bro' on white horse is near / The hippies won't come back you say / Mellow out or you will pay / (Chorus) / Now it is 1984 / Knock knock at your front door / It's the suede/denim secret police / They have come for your uncool niece / Come quietly to the camp / You'd look nice as a drawstring lamp / Don't you worry, it's only a shower / For your clothes here's a pretty flower / Die on organic poison gas / Serpent's egg's already hatched / You will croak, you little clown / When you mess with President Brown / (Chorus)


4.MAN WITH THE DOGS

I am no one / But I'm well known / For I am the man with the dogs / I stare at you shopping / Watch while you're walking / Two dogs run around your toes / You turn around / Two eyes break you down / Now, who does that guy think he's starin' at? / Stop in your tracks / You're being laughed at / Your armored ego is nude / And I do and I do / Crack up ‘cause I'm getting to you / I see you I see you / And you're pretty self-conscious too / Down to your church / I'm looking for victims / Spell of the man with the dogs / I'll haunt you / And follow you to work / That ghost is back again / Creep into you / I won't go away / You're taking yourself too seriously / I smile as you frown / And turn to walk away / Your habits for all to see / I see a shrew / I see you / And the rodent things you do / You see you I see you / And you're pretty self-conscious too / And I'm gonna crack your mask / Yeah and I'm gonna laugh / Open wide… / See you again / You'll see me tomorrow / Curse of the man with the dogs / You may not like me / You won't forget me / Not safe even in Walgreen's / They've seen me / Ask your friends / “Oh, I know him” / Seen but I'm never heard / By your lot / A stare / Is worth a thousand biting phrases / See how stupid you are? / I dare you I dare you / To erase my laser tattoo / You see you you see you / And you're pretty self-conscious too / And I'm gonna crack your mask / Yeah, and I'm gonna laugh / What's inside? / Is it pubic hair / Is it cobweb air / I bet you just don't care…


5.N-SIGHT

Who's that kid in the back of the room / Who's that kid in the back of the room / He's setting all his papers on fire / He's setting all his papers on fire / Where did he get that crazy smile / Were did he get that crazy smile / We all think he's really weird / We all think he's really weird / Chorus: We never talk to him / He never looks quite right / He laughs at us / We just beat him up / What he sees escapes our sight / We never see him with the girls / We never see him with the girls / He's talking to himself again / He's talking to himself again / Why doesn't he want tons of friends / Why doesn't he want tons of friends / Says he's bored when we hang around / Says he's bored when we hang around / (Chorus) / We're all planning our careers / We're all planning our careers / We're all planning our careers / He ways we're growing old…


6.LIFE SENTENCE

You used to be a partner in crime / Now you say you ain't got the time / Gotta get serious, gotta plan / Gotta pass those entrance exams / Oh, my god - / It's Senior year / All you care about is your career / It's a life sentence / Life sentence / Life sentence / Life sentence / You're squelching you emotions / All you talk about is old times / You don't do what you want to / But you do the same thing every day / No sense of humor / But such good manners / Now you're an adult / You're boring / It's your sentence / Life sentence / Life sentence / Life sentence / The walls are closing in / You stayed too long in school / I'd rather stay a child / And keep my self respect / If being an adult / Means being like you / Are you really you you you / You you you you you you / Are you really you? / No / You're a chained-up dog fenced in a yard / Don't see much, you can't go far / Pace and froth, you're getting sick / Run too fast it'll snap your neck / You say you'll break out / But you never do / You're just another ant in the hill / That's your life sentence


7.A CHILD AND HIS LAWNMOWER

Some clown in Sacramento was dragged into court / He shot his lawnmower / It disobeyed, it wouldn't start / Might makes right, it's the American way® / They fined him $60 and sent him on his way / You know, some people don't take no shit / Maybe if they did they'd have half a brain left


8.HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA

So you been to school for a year or two / And you know you've seen it all / In daddy's car thinkin' you'll go far / Back East your type don't crawl / Play ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz / On your five grand stereo / Braggin' that you know how the niggers feel cold / And the slums got so much soul / It's time to taste what you most fear / Right Guard will not help you here / Brace yourself, my dear / It's a holiday in Cambodia / It's tough kid, but it's life / It's a holiday in Cambodia / Don't forget to pack a wife / You're a star-belly sneech you suck like a leech / You want everyone to act like you / Kiss ass while you bitch so you can get rich / But your boss gets richer off you / Well you'll work harder with a gun in your back / For a bowl of rice a day / Slave for soldiers ‘til you starve / then your head is skewered on a stake / Now you can go where people are one / Now you can go where they get things done / What you need, my son… / Is a holiday in Cambodia / Where people dress in black / A holiday in Cambodia / Where you'll kiss ass or crack / (chant) Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot, etc. / And it's a holiday in Cambodia / Where you'll do what you're told / A holiday in Cambodia / Where the slum's got so much soul


9.I FOUGHT THE LAW

Drinkin' beer in the hot sun / I fought the law and I won / I needed sex and I got mine / I fought the law and I won / The law don't mean shit if you've got the right friends / That's how this country's run / Twinkies are the best friend I've ever had / I fought the law and I won / I blew George and Harvey's brains out with my six gun / I fought the law and I won / Gonna write my book and make a million / I fought the law and I won / I'm the new folk hero of the Ku Klux Klan / My cop friends think that's fine / You can get away with murder if you've got a badge / I fought the law and I won / I am the law so I won


10.SATURDAY NIGHT HOLOCAUST

There's a prefab building and a funny smell / Around the hill outside of town / Every now and then we wonder / But we shrug our shoulders and get back to work / There's a railroad there and trains go by / And there's people locked in cattle cars / And have you noticed the french fries at the A&W / Taste a little strange?… / I drive down to the disco / Pompadour and pink lamé / I bow and blow the doorman / He parts the chain, says “join the game” / A quick line in the girl's room / To the bar for the electrodes / A coin into the right slits / Tape my temple, watch me go! / Blacks are banned, ‘cept on the records / Oh life's a cabaret / Like Berlin, 1930 / All I crave is my escape / Now I want your perfect Barbie doll lips / And I want your perfect Barbie doll eyes / Slip my fingers down your Barbie doll dress / Up and down your spandex ass / If I lit a match to you / You'd melt before my eyes / C'mere my pretty glow-worm / You look so fine to dance with me / The fly-eye lights are throbbin' / I'm burnin' up the floor / Whirling twirling / Close my eyes / No faces judging me / A Hitler Youth in joggin' suit / Smiling face banded ‘round his arm / Says, “Line up, you've got work to do / We need dog food for the poor” / A scream bleats out, we're herded into lines / Customized vans wait outside / I'm scared of my new home / To Auschwitz condominiums we go / Oh no / Now I want your perfect Barbie doll lips / And I want your perfect Barbie doll eyes / Let my fingers down your dress / One more time…


11.PULL MY STRINGS

I'm tired of self respect / I can't afford a car / I wanna be a prefab superstar / I wanna be a tool / Don't need no soul / Wanna make big money / Playing rock and roll / I'll make my music boring / I'll play my music slow / I ain't no artist, I'm a businessman / No ideas of my own / I won't offend / Or rock the boat / Just sex and drugs / And rock and roll / Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool…my payola! / Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool…my payola! / You'll pay ten bucks to see me* / On a fifteen foot high stage / Fatass bouncers kick the shit / Out of kids who try to dance / If my friends say / I've lost my guts / I'll laugh and say / That's rock and roll / But there's just one problem… / Chorus: Is my cock big enough / Is my brain small enough / For you to make me a star / Give me a toot / And I'll sell you my soul / Pull my strings and I'll go far / And when I'm rich / And meet Bob Hope / We'll shoot some golf / And shoot some dope / (Chorus)


12.SHORT SONGS

I like short songs / (repeat 13 times)


13.STRAIGHT A'S

Sixteen, on the honor roll / I wish that I was dead / Parents hat me, I got zits / And bruises 'round my head / Pressure's on to get good grades / So I can be like them / Do my homework all the time / I can't go out just then / People they ain't friends at all / They tease me and suck me dry / Yell at me when I fuck up / And party while I cry / I look so big on paper / I feel so fucking small / Wanna die and you don't care / Just stride on down the hall / Suicide, suicide / Read the paper, wonder why / Turn the light out, then you cry / It's your fault, you made my die / Touch me won't you touch me now / So frozen I can't love / When I was born my mama cried / And picked me up with gloves / Girls, they kick me in the eye / Want answers to the tests / When they get them they drive off / And leave me home to rest / Hold my head / Make me warm / Tell me I am loved / Give me hope / Let me cry / Make me feel / Give me touch / The window's broken, bleeding screaming / Lying in the hall / I'm gone no one remembers me / A picture on the wall / “He was such a bright boy / The future in his hands…” / Or a spineless human pinball / Shot around by your demands / Suicide, suicide / Goin' to sleep and when I die / You'll look up and realize / Then look down and wipe your eyes / Then go back to your stupid lives / Aw shit


14.KINKY SEX MAKES THE WORLD GO ‘ROUND

Greetings…this is the Secretary of War at the State Department of the United States…We have a problem. The companies want something done about this sluggish world economic situation…profits have been running a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some growth…now we know there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage private property. It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job…It's about time we did something constructive with these people…We've got thousands of ‘em here too. They're crawling all over…The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together - start another war…The President? He loves the idea! All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro…Napalm…People running down the road, skin on fire…The Soviets seem up for it…The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years: Hell, Afghanistan's no fun…So whadya say?…We don't even have to win this war. We just want to cut down on some of this excess population…Now look. Just start up a draft: Draft as many people as you can. We'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on, hand 'em some speed, give ‘em an hour or tow to learn how to use an automatic rifle and send ‘em on their way…Libya? El Salvador? How ‘bout Northern Ireland? Or a ‘moderately repressive regime' in South America? We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story in the Middle East - we need that oil…We had Libya all ready to go and Colonel Khadafy's hit squad didn't even show up. I tell ya…That man in unreliable. The Kremlin had their fingers on the button just like we did for that one…Now just think for a minute - we can make this war so big - so big…The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper…We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queues if we plan this right. Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls…Now don't worry about those demonstrators - just pump up your drug supply. So many people have hooked themselves on heroin and amphetamines since we took over, it's just like Vietnam. We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong. Kept the war functioning just fine…It's easy. We've got out college kids so interested in beer they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again. Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard, they wouldn't even know what oit looked like…So how ‘bout it? Look - war is money. The arms manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is going to collapse…The Soviets are in the same boat. We all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?!?…that's excellent. We knew you'd agree…The companies will be very pleased.