1. DA YA THINK I'M SEXY ?

Sugar, sugar

She sits alone waiting for suggestions
He's so nervous avoiding all the questions
His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding
Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on sugar let me know.
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on honey tell me so
Tell me so baby

He's acting shy looking for an answer
Come on honey let's spend the night together
Now hold on a minute before we go much further
Give me a dime so I can phone my mother
They catch a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on honey tell me so
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on sugar let me know

His heart's beating like a drum
'Cos at last he's got this girl home
Relax baby now we are alone

They wake at dawn 'cos all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain't what they're thinking
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining
They got each other neither one's complaining
He say's I sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee
Never mind sugar we can watch the early movie

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on sugar let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on honey tell me so

If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on sugar let me know
If you really, really, really, really need me
Just let me know
Just reach out and touch me
If you really want me
Just reach out and touch me
Come on sugar let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on sugar let me know
If you, if you, if you really need me
Just come on and tell me so


2. DIRTY WEEKEND

You book the hotel I'll pack the bags honey
You phone the airlines I'll call a cab
When will you return well that all depends
Just tell your mother that you're staying with friends
Cuz I know that you're my best friend's girl
But it's the weekend I don't give a hell

I'll bring the red wine you bring the ludes
Your mother's doctor must be quite a dude
We'll hang the 'Don't Disturb' outside our door
I'm gonna rock you till your pussy's sore

Oh my sweet Diana I can't wait for the manana
There's a hotel down in Mexico just made for two
But I don't think you trust me and I can't say I blame you
My reputation precedes me you ain't never gonna leave me

Soon as we get there I'll go check in
Mr and Mrs Smith of Abilene
You get naked honey I'll get down
I'm gonna chase you around
And 'round and 'round and 'round
You say you can't stand monotony
I say what happened to fidelity
Dirty weekend made for two
Just me and you honey
I wanna love that can last for ages
Not the trash you've been giving to strangers

Don't want to make your two big brothers brothers annoyed
Do you think you'll get the polaroid?


3. AIN'T LOVE A BITCH

Been in pain and i've been in shame
But ain't love a bitch
I been in fights, locked away for nights
But ain't love a bitch
I been tailed, impaled, strung up
And nailed and left without a stitch
I been scratched 'n' taxed 'n' finally axed
But ain't love a bitch

Oh I didn't understand till I was seventeen
She took me way upstairs and she wiped me clean
Oh I didn't realize she made a first class fool out of me
Oh Maggie if you're still out there the rest is history

You're all alone in the freezing cold
By the underground
Your hands are numb and you're feeling dumb
Cos you been let down
You thought you were rough and kinda tough
And maybe out of reach
You're acting chic, playing hide 'n' seek
But ain't love a bitch

Oh I must state right here I been there before
My eyes were closed and so my friends
I still don't know the score
Oh don't underestimate the strength of it
It may be unwise to analyze even the cause of it

You're driving home late one night and on the radio
Comes an old familiar song you used to know so well
(you know a lot about that)
Oh I can't comprehend this thing called love
Maybe it's a matter of fact I just can't grow up
Deep down ain't we all a little juvenile
All I really wanna know is there one sweet angel
That can make me smile

Ain't love a bitch

Torrential rains, wars and hurricanes
I wouldn't budge an inch
Your rent's unpaid and your team lose again
But ain't love a bitch
You can lose your job, your home and your health
But ain't love a bitch
Take it or leave it some day you'll feel it
'Cos love is the bitch

Ain't love the bitch, ain't love a bitch
Ain't love a bitch, ain't love a bitch
Ain't love a bitch


4. THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE

You always said living with me was impossible
Try it I said just like the wind I'm changeable
We ain't got money but we sure got laughs
Lots of loving too
So I confess on my behalf
You're giving me honestly
The best days of my life

Your whispering girls said don't be a fool
Don't give into him
He's an animal treat you like dirt
Then he'll turn you in
You two are not compatible
It'll never never last
They said I wasn't even suitable
But you're giving me honestly
The best days of my life

Sometimes I wonder
Why does she bother with me at all
So staid in my ways
Let's face it my dear, I'm insufferable

The crazy nights spilling into days
With all my noisy friends
But they all love you as much as I
Giving me constantly
The best days of my life
And a day without you at this point my dear
Seems unthinkable
A night without you more often
Than not is unbearable

But if it all can't work out
One can never never tell
In my heart there is no doubt
You gave to me unselfishly
The best days of my life

But if it all can't work out one can never never tell


5. IS THAT THE THANKS I GET ?

Did you think I'd take it sitting down
And let you walk all over me
Thought you knew me much better than that
I keep much better company

With your lawyers and your two timing friends
I guess you know who I mean
Your detectives and your private eyes
Could never win me back again

Just where did it get ya
What satisfaction was had
You kicked the shit right in my face
Is that all the thanks I get

You said we made such a pretty pair
Living in harmony
I'm sorry honey but I disagree
It seemed more like a comedy

Just look how you lied girl
That Judas right by your side
He hung you up so you cut me right down
Is that all the thanks I get

Guess i'll find me a brand new girl
That won't take too very long
There's so many floatin' 'round this town
Waitin' by the telephone
And if you want me i'll be in the bar
Back into my usual ways
Or on the corner with the rest of the boys
You and I were just a breath away
It was great while it lasted
But oh Lord it turned nasty
You didn't give me one chance to explain
Well is that all the thanks I get

Is that the thanks I get
Is that the thanks I get
Is that the thanks I get for loving you
Is that the thanks I get
Is that the thanks I get
Is that the thanks I get for loving you


6. ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WANTED

I'm tired of buying Penthouse and Oui and Hustler
It's Friday night I'm all alone still a bachelor
She said she'd call me when she'd finished work
Haven't heard a word all day
I may not be Warren Beatty or Mohammed Ali
(Attractive female wanted)
I ain't asking a great deal, just a female to move in with me
(Attractive female wanted)
I'll share all my records, toothbrush and car
And color TV, honestly
A single girl for my single bed is my remedy
(Attractive female wanted)

She doesn't have to be a movie star
Cover of a magazine
She can work in a garage all day
In the evening some canteen

I'm tired of blind dates making silly mistakes
It's embarrassing
(Attractive female wanted)
I've had no complaints
But obviously you've guessed
No compliments
(Attractive female wanted)

Won't someone please answer my prayers
Before I'm old and grey
(Attractive female wanted)
I've been lonely too long
All of my family think I'm gay

She doesn't have to be a movie star
Cover of magazine
She can work in a garage all day
In the evening some canteen

Attractive female wanted
Active female wanted
I may get drunk stink like a skunk
But she'll look after me
(Attractive female wanted)
Put me to bed ease my aching head
And made fuss of me
You know what I gonna do
Think i'll write a letter
To Mr. Hugh Heffner confidentially
Dear Sir
A single girl for my single bed is my remedy


7. BLONDES (HAVE MORE FUN)

Is it a matter of opinion
Or just a contradiction
But from where I come from
All the blondes have more fun
Well just awatch them sisters on a Saturday night
Peroxide causin' all the fights

I took a rose in Texas
She gimme plenty of practice
But I couldn't touch the surface
'Cos of recent facelift
She had no idea what love's about
'Cept the one o'clock call on the casting couch

Sissy from New York
Was on the cover of New Vogue
I ain't supposed to be available
So completely untouchable
I got a limousine 'n' bodyguard and chaperone
But God knows Rodder just needs to ball

You can keep your black and your red heads
You can keep your brunettes too
I wanna girl that's semi intelligent
Gimme a blonde that's six feet two boy
And that ain't all

I had a crush on Bardot
Fell in love with Monroe
Read about 'em in the nationals
All the juicy little scandals
But I never saw 'em dancin' at the county hall
With the short fat guy's prematurely bald

Dig this

You can keep your black and your red heads
You can keep your brunettes too
Don't wanna subservient woman
Gimme a blonde that's six feet two boy
And that ain't all


8. LAST SUMMER

Sipping a sangria with a girl named Julia
Hot Jamaican sand beneath our feet
She purred like a cat in a Panama hat
She said my passport picture was unique
I said I did impersonations would you like to see
Turned around to buy her one more round

Then suddenly she disappeared
Like I feared with another guy
Love always seems to let me down
Can be found anywhere around

The carnival had passed
And my heart was beating fast
All these married women, it ain't fair
Nervously I said would you like to come to bed
A cold silence pierced the evening air
Instantly she recognized my insecurities
Changing subjects quickly I agreed

Then suddenly she disappeared
Like I feared with another guy, oo baby
Love always seems to let me down
Can be found anywhere around
Nowhere around

The tourist had all gone, winter's coming on
The hotel chambermaid didn't seem to care
Sharing a pina colada we broke into laughter
I'll never know how we made it up the stairs
We spent the night together
And she woke up in my arms
Kissed me tenderly and said goodbye

Then suddenly she disappeared
Like I feared with another guy, oo baby
Love always seems to let me down
Can be found anywhere around
Nowhere around

Love always seems to let me down
Maybe i'll wait until next year, next year, next year


9. STANDIN' IN THE SHADOWS OF LOVE

Standing in the shadows of love
I'm getting ready for the heartaches to come
Standing in the shadows of love
I'm just waitin' for the heartaches to come

I want to run but there's no place to go
'Cause heartaches will follow me I know
Without your love the love I need
It's the beginning of the end for me
'Cause you've taking away all my reason for living
When you pushed aside all the love I been giving

Didn't I treat you right now baby didn't I
Didn't I do the best for you now didn't I
Don't you leave me
Standing in the shadows of love
I'm getting ready for the heartaches to come
Standing in the shadows of love
I'm getting ready for the heartaches to come

All alone I'm destined to be
With misery my only company
Might come today, might come tomorrow
But it's for sure I ain't got nothing but sorrow
Now don't your conscience kind of bother you
How can you watch me cry after all I done for you
Now hold on a minute

Didn't I treat you right now honey didn't I
Didn't I do the best for you now didn't I
So don't you leave me
Standing in the shadows of love
Getting ready for the heartaches to come
Standing in the shadows of love
I'm getting ready for the heartaches to come

I want to run but there's no place to go
'Cause heartaches will follow me I know
Without your love the love that I need
It's the beginning of the end for me
Now don't your conscience kinda, kinda bother you
How can you watch me cry
After all the things I done for you

Didn't I treat you right now baby didn't I
Didn't I do the best for you couldn't I
Didn't I do right by you didn't I
Didn't I screw you right now

Kept you in luxury didn't I
Didn't I do the best for you didn't I
Didn't I treat you right now didn't I
Didn't I do the best for you now didn't I

I'm trying hard not to cry
You know my crying ain't gonna help me now
Without your love the love that I need
It's the beginning of the end for me
So don't you leave me

Standing in the shadows of love
I'm getting ready for the heartaches to come
Standing in the shadows of love
I'm getting ready for the heartaches to come


10. SCARRED AND SCARED

Started out like any one of you
Good intentions and a degree
But one hot night under the neon lights
Killed a boy just seventeen

Now I sit here rainin' on my Maker
Reprieve is all I'm praying for
Lord I fear the hangman's steps approachin'
Will the priest knock gently on my door

And I know i've let my daddy down
And I broke my mother's heart
I'd give anything turn back time again
Just give me one more start

I don't need no trial humiliation
Just tell me that I'm heaven bound
I don't want no two faced consolation
What use is that to me six feet underground

I'm going down to the engine shed
Put a gun up to my head
Blow myself into the promised land
We call it scarred and scared
And if you ever see my son again
Don't let on just how I fared
Tell him, tell him I went down big and strong
I was never, never, never scarred or scared

All the girls that once did gather 'round me
Have moved along to someone else
Sitting here desperation is my close friend
What I'd give to kiss one of them now
Oo yeah i'll take you there
I'll take ya there