1. Planet of the Apes

Planet of the apes you're a primate
Planet of the apes you're what I hate
This orangutuan is a one man gang a big fat ass baboon
Planet of the apes you are so wrong
Planet of the dinks here comes King Kong ding dong
You're a simian
you're the missing link
this club's a zoo thanks to you
and your gorilla buddies too
Planet of the Apes
Monkey see Monkey do
a shot upside the head for you

2. 99

I think of you every minute
of just about every other day
It's funny but the tv
dosen't seem to make my thoughts about you go away
Every time I think of you
I start to follow clues
can't call you from my shoe
99
The bathtub girls I see on bikes in Lakeview
all look too much like you and 99
I've got a job to do
but I can't concentrate anything else at this time
I know I should be gettting smart
but since we've been apart
I can't even count as high as 99
Don't tell me you're a double agent
I asked you not to tell me that
I'd join you in a New York minute
'cause you're so rad and that's a fact
When you left me things were Kaotic
and I think I almost lost Control
But now I am a little less psychotic
and my mission's not impossible
I will find another girl like 99
you know the world is full of 99'
but I'll remember you 99

3. I Hate Your Guts on Sunday

I hate your guts on Sunday
no other day of the week
I hate your guts on Sunday
but Monday morning you look so sweet
I hate your guts on Sunday
and I'm not even sure why
'cause I love your guts on Friday night
You gotta go work while I stay here
just sitting and scratching in my underwear
Hating you on Sunday really only means I care
I hate your guts on Sunday
and I don't know what to do
Monday's the catalyst for readjusting my attitude
I hate your guts on Sunday
I hate my own guts as well
but every other day I think you're swell
Sunday always feels like a funeral
like setting the alarm to be on time for school
But don't sweat and don't forget
that every other day I think you're totally cool

4. Johnny Are You Queer?

Johnny what's the deal boy?
Is your love for real boy?
When the lights are low
You never hold me close

Well I saw you today boy
Walking with the gay boys
God it hurt me so
Now I gotta know
Johnny are you queer?

'Cause when I see you
Dancing with your friends
I can't help wondering
Where I stand

I'm so afraid I'll lose you
If I can't seduce you
Is there something wrong?
Johnny come on strong

Oh why are you so weird boy?
Johnny are you queer boy?
When I make a play
You push me away
Johnny are you queer?

'Cause when I see you
Dancing with your friends
I can't help wondering
Where I stand

Johnny you're forsaking
A love you could be taking
I wanna give it to you
But you never come through

Oh why are you so weird boy?
Johnny are you queer boy?
When you asked for a date
I thought that you were straight
Johnny are you queer?

Oh Johnny are you queer boy?
Johnny are you queer?
Tell me, Johnny are you queer?
Tell me, Johnny are you queer?
Johnny are you queer?


5. Time Bomb

Joined at the hip again with him tonight
You're almost invincible aside from all the nods and smiles
but I know that you're gonna blow up
'cause you're a time bomb
All set to go off
you're a time bomb
and nothing can stop you
you're a time bomb
You're such a beautiful accessory
When you get home and you're alone
I know he's gonna see what he's dealing with
You're gonna blow up
'cause you're a time bomb
All set to go off
you're a time bomb
and nothing can stop you
you're a time bomb
Behind the door all the numbers hit zero
You might just turn cold
or you just might explode in his face
Everyone knows what's really going on
But no one is gonna applaud you for your timing on him
just 'cause You're gonna blow up
'cause you're a time bomb
All set to go off
you're a time bomb
and nothing can stop you
you're a time bomb

6. Burnout Girl

I walk by your house while you're laying in bed
Thoughts of rescuing you race through my head
I'd rip my heart out of my chest
and hold it for you to inspect
and while the blood dripped down our hands
we could kiss
The apartment ambience is like a motel
Little town blues can't compare to this hell
Do you ever wanna go anywhere
but here and now
well I'm waiting here alone for you
You somehow ignore the repetitive structures around you
that scream indifference
You are inspired by nothingness
nothing can alter the scope of your dreams
I'll still wait while you're asleep in your bed
but the air smells different out here at three a.m.
And all the hopes you're clinging to
will fall apart inside your room
so please come on out and do something else
You're an enigma
you're so incredible presentable
I'd eat you up if I thought you were edible

7. If I Was You

So if you were in my shoes
you're saying that you would basically have it made
Well if I was in your boots
I'm telling you I would be making things my way
I'd take what's mine if I was you
You'd never catch me killing time
if I was you
and I'd take everything that's mine
if I was you
I'd go and live my life
if I was you
If I was you
I'd wake up every day
and every day I'd save all my energy
For making everyday the someday
I talk about all the time
I'd take what's mine
if I was you
You'd never catch me killing time
if I was you
and I'd take everything that's mine
if I was you
I'd try and live my life
if I was you
If I was you
I would refuse to let anything pass me by
I would insist on a better life now
If I was you I'd know what to do

8. Nobody Likes You

Nobody likes you
you are such a drag
Nobody likes you
you are such a brat
Nobody likes you
you see Nobody likes you
not me
Nobody likes you
you're ugly dumb and mean
Everyone hates you pass the Dramamine
Nobody likes you you see
Nobody likes you ya creep
Nobody likes you anyway
You are not any fun
You bother everyone
You think you're better
but we're gonna shut you up
'cause nobody likes you
everybody pretends
that you're not annoying
but trust me you're a pest
Nobody likes you you drip
Nobody likes you ya twit
Nobody likes you anyway

9. Degenerate

In your beady eyes I don't make the scene
Well your right if being part of your teenage soap opera's
what you mean
Degenerate degenerate
Encapsulated with all the other creeps
In another lame quest to be this month's kings of the shitheap
I've got a life and I know you're having fun
But I can't take part 'cause I can't go back when the game is done
Reality dosen't mean a fucking thing out here in candyland
It's all about street creds dropping names sucking up and shaking hands
I never knew which way to go
but I know that way is for the chumps
Go back to church and school and work
and leave this degenerate alone

10. Surf Goddess

It could have happened to anyone
but it happened to me
I fell in love with a west coast girl
an amazon in ripped jeans
Looking out at Lake Michigan
wishing that I was there
She's hanging ten out in Hollywood
two thousand miles away
There's no doubt
that you're just about
the prettiest girl that I've seen
You look so cool
hanging by the pool
you're the only girl for me
Surf Goddess I'm in love with you
I can't make all of the clubs with you
I can't make all of your shows
I gotta scrape the ice off the van
I gotta shovel the snow
But if you stop by the Montrose beach
next time you're in Illinois
I swear I wouldn't tell anyone
just don't walk away from your boy

11. Kathy Isn't Right

She took every single pill in the cabinet
She fell down we cleaned her up
but what a mess
Kathy isn't right today
She broke out the other day
and ran away from the mental hospital
Lately she's becoming just a little bit impossible
Kathy isn't right today
She used to be so pleasant to have around
She always understood all the things we told her about
Now we can see her crumbling before our eyes
And all the medication in the world
can't change the fact that everthing she touches turns to shit

12. Kathy's On The Roof Again

She's got a place to go when she gets sad
She opens her window and sits on the roof whenever she is feeling bad
She's sick of these rules
and she's sick of this world
and she's totally sick of her life
She says the mundane fries like eggs on her brain
and now we all think she's lost her mind
Kathy's on the roof again
she's going down
Eating too little and sleeping too much
She was manic and now she's depressed
She ought to be with her peer group
indeed she just needs to get things off her chest
They prod and they probe they sedate and they shock
they can't seem to get through to that girl
She only speaks about once every week
and then all she'll say is fuck the world
Kathy's on the roof again
she's going down
Her mother says she's crazy
and her sister says she's not
But everybody thinks she's flaky
We've gotta figure out just what's wrong with her
It's time to look into the cabinet
and make sure Kathy is taking her meds
it's time to prop Kathy in front of the TV
and wipe the drool off her dress
The sound of the Mexicans cutting the lawn
again was buzzing throughout the whole house
We couldn't find her so we looked outside
and saw Kathy all over the ground

13. I Wrote Holden Caulfield

I loved you for the minute
when you decided to tell me the truth
I heard you and that night I cried for you
I know that you're alone just like everyone else in the world
Don't tell me that things don't get better
'cause sometimes they do
Sometimes they do and I know they will for you
The days are getting shorter
and you're forgetting the things you just said
I'm hoping that you'll move ahead
I wonder if you'll ever come to realize what I always knew
I wrote Holden Caulfield and so did you
I wanna know if you wanna wake up
I wanna know when you'll stop dying
for what you've done
stop crying for what you've done
it's only the past
it's only life
what have you done that's so bad
it's only life so don't waste time
why don't you stop crying
for what's done for what is done