1. GRATUITOUS SAX

You need another element, you need it right away
What should I do, what should I do?
An element to titillate so they won't go away
I thought of you and how you blew 'til you were blue
And how you blew 'til you were blue
And how you blew 'til you were blue
Throw in some
Gratuitous sax


2. WHEN DO I GET TO SING «MY WAY»

No, no use in lecturing them, or in threatening them
They will just say "who are you"
Is that a question or not, and you see that the plot
Is predictable, not new
But you're still stunned at the things you will do

No, no use in taking their time or in wasting two dimes
On a call to God knows who
When all you feel is the rain and it's hard to be vain
When no person looks at you
So just be gracious and wait in the queue

(CHORUS)
So when do I get to sing "My Way"
When do I get to feel like Sinatra felt
When do I get to sing "My Way"
In heaven or hell
When do I get to do it my way
When do I get to feel like Sid Vicious felt
When do I get to sing "My Way"
In heaven or hell

Yes, it's a tradition they say, like a bright Christmas Day
And traditions must go on
And though I say, yes I see, no I really don't see
Is my smiley face still on?
Sign your name with an X, mow the lawn

They'll introduce me, "Hello, hello"
Women seduce me and champagne flows
Then the lights go low
There's only one song I know

(CHORUS)

There, this home which once was serene, now is home to the screams
And to flying plates and shoes
But I have no souvenirs of these crackerjack years
Not a moment I could choose
And not one offer that I could refuse

(CHORUS)


3. (WHEN I KISS YOU) I HEAR CHARLIE PARKER PLAYING

Out of the doorway, into the morning
Wish I was a bird that was migratory
Spoken half in jest, catch the bird that's in my nest
Out of the doorway, into the morning
All of them seem to be selling something
Illegal substances, or an hour with no kisses
Though I am tempted, they are pre-empted
You and your rosary are exempted
From criminality, still there is a duality
You'll never know it, I'll never show it

Only I hear it, only I know that
What's apropos for me, may for thee be blasphemy

And the hills are alive with the sound of music

(CHORUS)
When I kiss you, when I kiss you
I hear Charlie Parker playing
Will I miss you, will I miss you
When the playing ends one night
When I kiss you, when I kiss you
I hear Charlie Parker playing
Will I miss you, will I miss you
When I finally see the light

Where are they going, what are they doing
Who are they chasing, who are they suing
It all ends up OK in this Tennessee Williams play
What are they facing, who are they casing
When you're attacked, tell me, who are you macing
For me it's all just fine, 'cause she's a Frank Lloyd Wright design
The finest of material
A little asymmetrical
But that's the way it goes, my love for her just grows and grows
It's bigger than Fuji, bigger than Fuji
Sometimes she's a little screwy
But all that is offset when we dispense with etiquette

And the hills are alive with the sound of music

[CHORUS]

Out of the doorway, into the morning
Wish I was a bird that was predatory
Spoken half in jest, catch the bird that's in my nest
There's rebel advances, labor disputes
Somebody's shot and somebody shoots
And hits the bullseye -bam- captured on a portacam

And the hills are alive with the sound of music

(CHORUS)


4. FRANKLY, SCARLETT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN

Might as well just say it
Might as well just come out and say it
You have your fans, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
All that Moonlight and Magnolia
It just doesn't cut it, it just doesn't cut it anymore
You had your chance, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
Ashley Wilkes, gentleman that he is
He'll protect you
You had your fans, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
If I wanted to, I could remove all thoughts of him from your head
Like this, like this
Like this, like this
You can lie all you want to do
You can cry all you want to do
You can scheme all you want to do
See if I care
You've had your fans, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn

Buildings were burning to the right of us
Buildings were burning to the left of us
Those fires are out now
You have your fans, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
That soft southern accent
Delivered without the slightest trace of a British accent
Even that's starting to wear on me
I've made my plans, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
If I wanted to, I could remove all thoughts of him from your head
Like this, like this
Like this, like this
You can lie all you want to do
You can cry all you want to do
You can scheme all you want to do
See if I care
You had your plans, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn

We cut each other so much slack
That we were both falling over backwards
You had your chance, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
Got my bearings now, know where I'm going now
Out... Out...
You had your chance, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn

Might as well just say it
Might as well just come out and say it
Might as well just say it
Might as well just come out and say it
I've made my plans, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
I've made my plans, and frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn
I've made my plans, and frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn


5. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WAIT IN THE CAR

I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car

What's she doing now
Has the encore come yet
And the bravas and bouquets
Don't tell me, don't tell me
Someday I'll find a mind of my own
'Til then, I'm content to hear her say

I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car

I'll turn on the radio
And look at myself in the rear-view mirror
I know she has an image to protect
I know she's not just being mean when she screams

I thought I told you to wait in the car

What's she doing now
Meeting leaders of the Free World

She's dressed in black, she's their poster girl
Don't tell me, don't tell me
I know she has an image to protect
I know she's not just being mean when she screams

I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car

Just a glimpse of it all
Just a taste of it all
Just one foot in the door
In the door of dreamland, in the door of dreamland

I thought I told you to wait in the car

Walking in on an afternoon tryst
Can be a source of embarrassment
Embarrassment for all concerned
Don't tell me, don't tell me
In my wildest dreams
I never thought of Warren Beatty as a rival

I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car
I thought I told you to wait in the car


6. HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL

I'm the wife of Clinton
I don't have a problem with all of this
They come and go, of course I know
I know everything
You don't know my thinking
Who I dream of or the gifts that I bring
One thing is clear, the atmosphere
Is thin and it's cold

(CHORUS)
Hear no evil (Monkey 1 says you shouldn't hear it)
See no evil (Monkey 2 says you shouldn't see it)
Speak no evil (Monkey 3 says you shouldn't speak it)
Hear no evil (Monkey 1 says you shouldn't hear it)
See no evil (Monkey 2 says you shouldn't see it)
Speak no evil (Monkey 3 says you shouldn't speak it)

I am Madame Mao
Following the Tao to the extreme
I know the score, all this and more
They're still in their teens
You don't know my thinking
Who I dream of or the gifts that I bring
One thing is true, I won't leave clues
To where I have been

(CHORUS)

We on the Potomac love good times
We on the Yangtze love good times
We on the Nile love good times
Can't get enough of good times
More than enough love to go 'round
More than enough power to go 'round
More than enough ids to be found
More than enough bids to go down

(CHORUS)

Hear no evil
See no evil
Speak no evil

I am Cleopatra
Caesar's former lover, now I am yours
Marc Antony, you're biting off
More than you can chew

Monkey 1 says you shouldn't hear it
Monkey 2 says you shouldn't see it
Monkey 3 says you shouldn't speak it

Hear no evil
See no evil
Speak no evil


7. NOW THAT I OWN THE BBC

What was I thinking, what was I thinking
What was I thinking, what could I have been thinking
It's going one time, it's going two times
Sold to the gent who wears the stunned expression

As I took it off their hands
A five pound note was changing hands
As I took it off their hands
I had plans, I had plans

(CHORUS)
Now that I own the BBC
What am I supposed to do with this thing
Now that I own the BBC
What am I supposed to make of this thing

All this power, all this glory
All these DJs and all these lorries
What was I thinking, what was I thinking
What was I thinking, what could I have been thinking

Hey Rupert Murdoch, help me out
I'm flying blind, I'm flying blind
You know the way to lay things out
For the refined and unrefined

(CHORUS)

Hey Ted Turner, help me out
I'm flying blind, I'm flying blind
You know the way to work things out
To colorize and still feel fine

(CHORUS)

Make of it what you will, make of it what you will
Make of it what you will, make of it what you will

Should we go brighter, should we go lighter
Should we go whiter, go left or righter
What was I thinking, what was I thinking
I wasn't drinking, what could I have been thinking

(CHORUS)

Make of it what you will, make of it what you will
Make of it what you will, make of it what you will

(CHORUS)


8. TSUI HARK

(featuring Tsui Hark & Bill Kong)

I'm Tsui Hark, I'm a film director
I'm Tsui Hark, I'm a film director
I've made several films
I'm Tsui Hark, I'm a film director
I've won several awards for my films
My first film was
The Butterfly Murders
Shanghai Blues
Peking Opera Blues
Swordsman, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Chinese Ghost Story, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Once Upon a Time In China, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
And several other films
I'm Tsui Hark, I'm a film director
I've made several films
I'm Tsui Hark, I'm a film director
I've won several awards for my films


9. THE GHOST OF LIBERACE

It was a dark and stormy night that I stepped out
Something strange was in the air, I couldn't figure it out
Who's there, tell me what you want from me
Oh no, I can't believe what I now see
They say the paranormal's just a sucker's game
I keep an open mind, but deep down I feel the same
Oh no, now I think I've changed my mind
Oh no, now I know I've changed my mind

[CHORUS:]
The ghost of Liberace keeps on hanging 'round
Hovers over farmland, lingers over towns
The ghost of Liberace still has that mystique
If he were alive he'd now be at his peak

The ghost of Liberace
The ghost of Liberace

Across the street, in fact across the whole damn town
They're making fun of him, they try to put him down
Oh yeah, but I wished they'd let him be
Oh yeah, he's not hurting you or me
Sometimes he blinds the drivers with his shiny suits
They see that smile and they laugh at him, hey don't shoot
Oh no, now he's hung in effigy
On no, why can't they just let him be

The ghost of Liberace
The ghost of Liberace

[CHORUS x2]

He hums Evita and Moon River and Michelle
Maybe that's why the people scream out "go to hell"
Oh no, now they're throwing cans of beer
Oh no, I thought ghosts could disappear
But he remains in all his glory, it's so strange
These aren't the kind of people he can change
But wait, now they're starting to applaud
I guess there really is a God above

[CHORUS x2]
The ghost of Liberace


10. LET'S GO SURFING

Rain is pouring down
In our land-locked town
Skies are always gray
Let's go surfing, babe
Somewhere there is hope
Somewhere there are dreams
Far from soot and smoke
Let's go surfing, babe

Tonight as we look at the moon and the stars
From our room with security bars
There's a westerly wind that is blowing both our minds
And both our feet
Walk through sand that's as white as the snow
Past the people named Kelley and Joe
Who have nothing in common with anyone we know
We know they're

Too Wagnerian
Too Shakespearian
Too impossible
Let's go surfing, babe
Somewhere there is hope
Far from everything
Far from misanthropes
Let's go surfing, babe

Tonight, from a room only Dickens could love
Wearing moth-eaten sweaters and gloves
We will open the window and feel an on-shore wind
A-blowing in
Grab our boards from the back of our van
Paddle out 'til we can't see the sand
Spin around and drop into the wave we hope will never end

Somewhere there is hope
Somewhere there are dreams
Far from everything
Let's go surfing, babe

Tonight, grab our boards from the back of our van
Paddle out 'til we can't see the sand
Spin around and drop into the wave we hope will never end

Catch a wave, a wave, a wave
Catch a wave, a wave, a wave
Somewhere there is hope
Somewhere there are dreams
Far from everything
Let's go surfing, babe


11. SENSELESS VIOLINS

He came home
And instead of hearing the usual drums and bass
He heard
Violins, violins, violins
Senseless violins, senseless violins, senseless violins
Senseless violins, senseless violins, senseless violins
He heard
He heard
Violins, violins
Senseless violins

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