1. SMASH IT UP

We've been crying now for much too long
And now we're gonna dance to a different song
I'm gonna scream and shout til my dying breath
I'm gonna smash it up til theres nothing left

Oooh ooh smash it up, smash it up, smash it up
Oooh ooh smash it up, smash it up, smash it up

People call me villain oh its such a shame
Maybe its my clothes must be to blame
I don't even care if I look a mess
Don't wanna be a sucker like all the rest

Oooh ooh smash it up, smash it up, smash it up
Oooh ooh smash it up, smash it up, smash it up

Smash it up
Smash it up
Smash it up
Smash it up
Smash it up

Smash it up, you can keep your krishna burgers
Smash it up, and your Glastonbury hippies
Smash it up, you can stick your frothy lager
Smash it up, and your blow wave hairstyles

And everybody's smashing things down
I said everybody's smashing things down yeah


2. BURGLAR

Here we go now!

I'm a villan I'm a rogue
I'll nick your wallet or garden gnome
I'm a burglar I'm a cad
An open window I'm in your home

I'll have your tools or kiddies toys
And I'm not safe - a joy of joys
I'll be the gasman or a toad
I'll have your telly or garden hose

While I'm scoping in the dark
I'll strap your dog so he won't bark
I won't disturb your only dreams
But if you wake up there's no screams

I'll nick anything removable
From the QE2 to the toilet paper in the houses of parliment
I'll even have the milk off your doorstep
Or the skin off a baby seals back

'cause I'm a real villan

I'll steal the paper or the milk
Or warn your neighbours or the bill
I'm a stealer I'm a crook
Read about me in Mich's book

Burglary is a life for me
Burglary is a life for me
People say that crime don't pay
I drink champagne every day

And the good lord said 'thou shall not steal'
There is only one path and that is the straight and narrow
It's a bit too bleeding straight and a bit too narrow for my liking

Ok gov It's a fair cop
Throw on the bracelets
Chink chink oh god I'm nicked

I sentence you to six months...
Take him away