1. TRANSMETROPOLITAN

In the rosy parks of England
We'll sit and have a drink
Of VP wine and cider 'till we can hardly think
And we'll go where the spirits take us
To heaven or to hell
And kick up bloody murder in the town we love so well

Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
From the dear old streets of Kings Cross
To the doors of the ICA
Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
We'll drink the rat's piss, kick the shite
And I'm not going home tonight, Yip-ay-aye

From Brixton's lovely boulevards
To Hammersmith's sightly shores
We'll scare the Camden Palace poofs
And worry all the whores
There's lechers up in Whitehall
And queers in the GLC
And when we've done those bastards in
We'll storm the BBC

Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
From Surrey Docks to Somers Town
With a KMRIA
Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
We'll drink the rat's piss, kick the shite
And I'm not going home tonight, Yip-ay-aye

From a five-bob bet in William Hills
To a Soho sex-shop dream
From a fried egg in Valtaro's
To a Tottenham Court Road ice cream
We'll spew and lurch, get nicked and fixed
On the way we'll kill and maim
When you haven't got a penny, boys
It's all the bloody same

Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
From Pentonville Road on a sunset eve
To the beauty that's Mill Lane
Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
We'll drink the rat's piss, kick the shite
And I'm not going home tonight, Yip-ay-aye

This town has done us dirty
This town has bled us dry
We've been here for a long time
And we'll be here 'till we die
So we'll finish off the leavings
Of blood and glue and beer
And burn this fucking city down
Every the summer of the year

Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
From Arlington House with a two-bob bit
To the Scottish shores today
Going transmetropolitan, Yip-ay-aye
We'll drink the rat's piss, kick the shite
And I'm not going home tonight, Yip-ay-aye, Yip-ay-aye, Yip-ay-aye!


2. THE BATTLE OF BRISBANE

(Instrumental)


3. THE AULD TRIANGLE

A hungry feeling, came o'er me stealing
And the mice they were squealing in my prison cell
And that auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal.

Oh to start the morning, the warden bawling
Get up out of bed you, and clean out your cell
And that auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal.

Oh the screw was peeping and the lag was sleeping
As he lay weeping for his girl Sal
And that auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal.

On a fine spring evening, the lag lay dreaming
And the seagulls were wheeling high above the wall
And that auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal.

Oh the wind was sighing, and the day was dying
As the lag lay crying in his prision cell
And that auld triangle, went jingle bloody jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal.

In the female prison there are seventy women
And I wish it was with them that I did dwell
And that auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal


4. WAXIE'S DARGLE

Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan
"Will ye go to the Waxies dargle?"
Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan,
"Sure I haven't got a farthing.
I went down to Monto town
To see uncle McArdle
But he wouldn't give me a half a crown
For to go to the Waxies dargle.

What'll you have? I'll have a pint
I'll have a pint with you, sir,
And if one of you doesn't order soon
We'll be chucked out of the boozer.

Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan
"Will ye go to the Galway races?"
Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan,
"With the price of my aul' lad's braces"
I went down to Capel Street
To the Jewish moneylenders
But they wouldn't give me a couple of bob on
My aul' wan's lad's suspenders.

Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan
"We've got no beef nor mutton
But if we go down to Monto town
We'll get a drink for nuttin'"
Here's a piece of sound advice
Got from an aul' fishmonger:
"When the food is scarce and you see the hearse
Then you'll know you've died of hunger


5. BOYS FROM THE COUNTRY HELL

On the first day of March it was raining
It was raining worse than anything that I have ever seen
I drank ten pints of beer and I cursed all the people there
And I wish that all this raining would stop falling down on me

And it's lend me ten pounds and I'll buy you a drink
And mother wake me early in the morning

At the time I was working for a landlord
And he was the meanest bastard that you have ever seen
And to lose a single penny would grieve him awful sore
And he was a miserable bollocks and a bitch's bastard's whore

I recall we took care of him one Sunday
We got him out the back and we broke his fucking balls
And maybe that was dreaming and maybe that was real
But all I know is I left that place without a penny or fuck all

And now I've the most charming of verandas
I sit and watch the junkies, the drunks and pimps and whores
Five green bottles sitting on the floor
And I wish to Christ, I wish to Christ
That I had fifteen more

The boys and me are drunk and looking for you
We'll eat your frigging entrails and we won't give a damn
Me daddy was a blue shirt and my mother a madam
And my brother earned his medals raping gooks in Vietnam

On the first day of March it was raining
It was raining worse than anything that I have ever seen
Stay on the other side of the road
'Cause you can never tell
We've a thirst like a gang of devils
We're the boys of the county hell


6. SEA SHANTY

Dear dirty London in the pouring rain
I wish to God I was back on the sea again
Though that belongs to the world of never will be
There was never a wilder bastard than me on the sea
I could fuck all the whores in damnation me boys
Though they wriggled and hollered and made a great noise
Then I'd drink till I stank and then drink plenty more
And I won't go down to the sea any more
But if I had ten pounds then I'd raise a loud cheer
And I'd toast all me neighbours both distant and dear
And I'd shoot back great belly-crippling buckets of beer
And a pox and a curse on the people round here
Wouldn't give you the price of a half pint of beer
Wouldn't give you the price of a cup of good cheer
A pox and a curse on the people round here

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall
But before I die I'll add my regal scrawl
To show the world I'm left with sweet fuck all
And when all of us bold shithouse poets do die
A monument grand they will raise to the sky
A monument made just to mark our great wit
A monument of solid shit now me boys
I met with Bill James we fought over crusts
He called me a whore and I booted his crutch
Then we shared out the jack and we thought it a treat
The compliments pass when the quality meet


7. DARK STREETS OF LONDON

I liked to walk in the summer breeze
Down Dalling Road by the dead old trees
And drink with my friends
In the Hammersmith Broadway
Dear dirty old drunken
Delightful old days

Then the winter came down and I loved it so dearly
The pubs and the bookies where you'd spend all your time
And the old men that were singing
When the roses bloom again
And turn once again
To a new summertime

Then the winter comes down
And I can't stand the chill
That comes to the streets around Christmas time
And I'm buggered to damnation
And I haven't got a penny
To wander the dark streets of London

Every time that I look on the first day of summer
Takes me back to the place where they gave ECT
And the drugged up psychos
With death in their eyes
And all of this really
Means nothing to me


8. STREAMS OF WHISKEY

Last night as I slept
I dreamt I met with Behan
I shook him by the hand and we passed the time of day
When questioned on his views
On the crux of life's philosophies
He had but these few clear and simple words to say

I am going, I am going
Any which way the wind may be blowing
I am going, I am going
Where streams of whiskey are flowing

I have cursed, bled and sworn
Jumped bail and landed up in jail
Life has often tried to stretch me
But the rope always was slack
And now that I've a pile
I'll go down to the Chelsea
I'll walk in on my feet
But I'll leave there on my back

Oh the words that he spoke
Seemed the wisest of philosophies
There's nothing ever gained
By a wet thing called a tear
When the world is too dark
And I need the light inside of me
I'll go into a bar and drink
Fifteen pints of beer


9. POOR PADDY

In eighteen hundred and forty-one
Me corduroy breeches I put on
Me corduroy breeches I put on
To work upon the railway, the railway
I'm weary of the railway
Poor Paddy works on the railway

In eighteen hundred and forty-two
From Hartlepool I moved to Crewe
Found meself a job to do
Working on the railway

I was wearing corduroy breeches
Digging ditches, pulling stitches,
Dancing on the line
Still working on the railway

In eighteen hundred and forty-three
I broke me shovel across me knee
And went to work for the company
On the Leeds to Selby railway

In eighteen hundred and forty-four
I landed on the Liverpool shore
Me belly was empty, me hands were raw
With working on the railway, the railway
I'm sick to my guts of the railway
Poor Paddy works on the railway

In eighteen hundred and forty-five
When Daniel O'Connell he was alive
When Daniel O'Connell he was alive
And working on the railway

In eighteen hundred and forty-six
I changed me trade to carrying bricks
Changed me trade to carrying bricks
Still working on the railway

In eighteen hundred and forty-seven
Poor Paddy was thinking of going to Heaven
The old bugger was thinking of going to Heaven
To work upon the railway, the railway
I'm sick to my death of the railway
Poor Paddy works on the railway


10. DINGLE REGATTA

(Instrumental)


11. GREENLAND WHALE FISHERIES

In eighteen hundred and forty-six
On March the eighteenth day
We hoisted our colors to the top of the mast
And for Greenland sailed away, brave boys
And for Greenland sailed away

The lookout in the crosstrees stood
With spyglass in his hand
There's a whale, there's a whale
And a whalefish he cried
And she blows at every span, brave boys
She blows at every span

The captain stood on the quarter deck
The ice was in his eye
Overhaul, overhaul! Let your gibsheets fall
And you'll put your boats to sea, brave boys
And you'll put your boats to sea

Our harpoon struck and the line played out
With a single flourish of his tail
He capsized the boat and we lost five men
And we did not catch the whale, brave boys
And we did not catch the whale

The losing of those five jolly men
It grieved the captain sore
But the losing of that fine whalefish
Now it grieved him ten times more, brave boys
Now it grieved him ten times more

Now Greenland is a barren land
A land that bares no green
Where there's ice and snow, and the whalefishes blow
And the daylight's seldom seen, brave boys
And the daylight's seldom seen


12. DOWN IN THE GROUND WHERE THE DEAD MEN GO

Hello boys I've been away
On a bit of a holiday
To the land where the rivers freely flow
And the cattle roam on the wild callagh
Walking home three parts pissed
I stumbled and fell in the morning mist
I fell and rolled in the hungry grass
That tells the tale of a terrible past
I screamed and ran and dreamt I fell
Down in the depths of a freezing hell
Four million people starved to death
Could smell the curse on their dying breath
Where no one ever wants to go
Down in the ground where the dead men go

To hell which is circular all around
Down in the belly of the big cold ground
The moving shadows were everywhere
The very trees seemed to bend and stare
I remembered the dunes on a Sligo shore
Screamed and ran till I could run no more
Over the fields and across the moor
I ran in the house and slammed the door
What the hell's that over there
A putrefying corpse sitting in that chair
Where no one ever wants to go
Down in the ground where the dead men go

Been drunk as a skunk since I've been home
From bar to bar like a ghost I roamed
I can't forget those things I saw
Been down with the devil in the Dalling Road
One place I don't want to go
Down in the ground where the dead men go


13. KITTY

Oh Kitty, my darling, remember
That the doom will be mine if I stay
'Tis far better to part, though it's hard to
Than to rot in their prison away
'Tis far better to part, though it's hard to
Than to rot in their prison away

So softly he then kissed her pale lips
'Twas the same story over an o'er
Hush Mavourneen, the police are watching
And you know that I must go ashore
Hush Mavourneen, the police are watching
And you know that I must go ashore

In a day I'll be over the mountain
There'll be time enough left for to cry
So good night and God guard you forever
And write to me won't you, good bye
So good night and God guard you forever
And write to me won't you, good bye


14. THE LEAVING OF LIVERPOOL

Farewell to you, my own true love,
I am going far, far away
I am bound for California,
And I know that I'll return someday

(Chorus)
So fare thee well, my own true love,
For when I return, united we will be
It's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me,
But my darling when I think of thee

I have shipped on a Yankee sailing ship,
Davy Crockett is her name,
And her Captain's name was Burgess,
And they say that she's a floating hell

(Chorus)

Oh the sun is on the harbour, love,
And I wish that I could remain,
For I know that it will be a long, long time,
Before I see you again

(Chorus)


15. MUIRSHIN DURKIN

In the days when I was courtin',
I was seldom done resortin'
In the ale house and the playhouse,
And many's the house between
I told me brother Seamus,
I'll go off and get right famous,
And when I come back home again,
I'll have seen the whole wide world

And it's goodbye, Muirshin Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of workin'
I'll no more dig the praties,
I'll no longer be a fool
As sure as me name is Carney,
I'll go off to California
And instead of digging praties,
I'll be digging lumps of gold

Farewell to all the girls at home,
I'm bound away across the foam
Off to seek me fortune
In far Amerikay
There's silver there a-plenty,
For the poor and for the gentry
And when I come back home again,
I never more will say,

Goodbye, Muirshin Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of workin'
I'll no more dig the praties,
I'll no longer be a fool
As sure as me name is Carney,
I'll go off to California
Where instead of diggin' praties,
I'll be digging lumps of gold

And goodbye, Muirshin Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of workin'
I'll no more dig the praties,
I'll no longer be a fool
As sure as me name is Carney,
I'll go off to California
Where instead of diggin' praties,
I'll be digging lumps of gold

Goodbye, Muirshin Durkin,
I'm sick and tired of workin'
I'll no more dig the praties,
No more be a fool
As sure as me name is Carney,
I'll go off to California
Where instead of diggin' praties,
I'll be diggin' lumps of gold


16. REPEAL OF THE LICENSING LAWS

(Instrumental)


17. AND THE BAND PLAYED WALTZING MATILDA

When I was a young man I carried my pack
And I lived the free life of a rover
From the Murrays green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my Matilda all over
Then in nineteen fifteen my country said Son
It's time to stop rambling 'cause there's work to be done
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And they sent me away to the war
And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As we sailed away from the quay
And amidst all the tears and the shouts and the cheers
We sailed off to Gallipoli

How well I remember that terrible day
How the blood stained the sand and the water
And how in that hell that they called Suvla Bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter
Johnny Turk he was ready, he primed himself well
He chased us with bullets, he rained us with shells
And in five minutes flat he'd blown us all to hell
Nearly blew us right back to Australia
But the band played Waltzing Matilda
As we stopped to bury our slain
We buried ours and the Turks buried theirs
Then we started all over again

Now those that were left, well we tried to survive
In a mad world of blood, death and fire
And for ten weary weeks I kept myself alive
But around me the corpses piled higher
Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over tit
And when I woke up in my hospital bed
And saw what it had done, I wished I was dead
Never knew there were worse things than dying
For no more I'll go waltzing Matilda
All around the green bush far and near
For to hump tent and pegs, a man needs two legs
No more waltzing Matilda for me

So they collected the cripples, the wounded, the maimed
And they shipped us back home to Australia
The armless, the legless, the blind, the insane
Those proud wounded heroes of Suvla
And as our ship pulled into Circular Quay
I looked at the place where my legs used to be
And thank Christ there was nobody waiting for me
To grieve and to mourn and to pity
And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As they carried us down the gangway
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared
Then turned all their faces away

And now every April I sit on my porch
And I watch the parade pass before me
And I watch my old comrades, how proudly they march
Reliving old dreams of past glory
And the old men march slowly, all bent, stiff and sore
The forgotten heroes from a forgotten war
And the young people ask, "What are they marching for?"
And I ask myself the same question
And the band plays Waltzing Matilda
And the old men answer to the call
But year after year their numbers get fewer
Some day no one will march there at all

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
Who'll come a waltzing Matilda with me
And their ghosts may be heard as you pass the Billabong
Who'll come-a-waltzing Matilda with me?


18. WHISKEY YOU'RE THE DEVIL

Now brave boys, we're on the march
Off to Portugal and Spain
Drums are beating, banners flying
The Devil at home will come tonight
So it's go, fare thee well
With a too da loo ra loo ra doo de da
A too ra loo ra loo ra doo de da
Me rikes fall too ra laddie-o
There's whisky in the jar

(Chorus)
Oh, whisky you're the devil
You're leading me astray
Over hills and mountains
And to Amerikay
You're sweetness from the Bleachner
And spunkier than tea
Oh whisky you're my darling drunk or sober


The French are fighting boldly
Men are dying hot and coldly
Give every man his flask of powder
His firelock on his shoulder
So its go, fare thee well
With a too da loo ra loo ra doo de da
A too ra loo ra loo ra doo de da
Me rikes fall too ra laddie-o
There's whisky in the jar

(Chorus)

Says the old wan do not wrong me
Don't take me daughter from me
For if you do I will torment you
When I'm dead my ghost will haunt you
So its go, fare thee well
With a too da loo ra loo ra doo de da
A too ra loo ra loo ra doo de da
Me rikes fall too ra laddie-o
There's whisky in the jar

(Chorus 2x)


19. THE WILD ROVER

I've been a wild rover for many's a year,
And I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer
And now I'm returning with gold in great store,
And I never will play the wild rover no more

(Chorus)
And it's no, nay, never!
No nay never no more
And I'll play the wild rover,
No never no more

I went to an alehouse I used to frequent,
And I told the landlady my money was spent
I asked her for credit, she answered me, "Nay",
Saying, "Custom like yours I can have any day"

(Chorus)

I took from my pocket ten sovereigns bright,
And the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight
She said, "I have whiskeys and wines of the best,
And the words that I told you were only in jest"

(Chorus)

I'll go home to my parents, confess what I've done,
And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
And when they have kissed me as oft-times before,
I never will play the wild rover no more

(Chorus)